Showing Up

I'm sitting in a modestly comfortable chair wishing I had chosen to wear my regular jeans instead of putting on a pair of maternity pants that clearly still don't fit me. I'm wondering if everyone can see that everything is hanging out as much I as feel it. Mike joins me with a hot cup of coffee and two donut holes (I love that man!).

The band starts and the room is filled with guitars, drums, piano, a saxophone and even a trumpet player. As the energy in the room grows, I begin to forget about my mid section not being tightly contained in my pants. The music is even more wonderful than usual and I begin to think this is exactly where I want to be even if it isn't in these pants.

Then he starts to speak and its almost as if he read my blog post from earlier this week as he was writing.

"In our pain, our tough times, God is making us stronger, more complete."

"God is bigger than our pain, our struggles." (see? seriously I think he read it!)

The sermon was about Not Giving Up. People quit trying in life because they feel powerless to change their situation. How unbelievably true. We quit on marriages, jobs, friendships, weight loss, because we feel the situation can't be improved. We feel we can't make the change, so we give up.

I know it's true for my life. I'm giving up on relationships because I don't know how to fix them or save them. I don't think the other side cares; so I give up. Why bother if they don't. I'm not giving 100% at my job because I don't receive the respect or credit I deserve. I feel key people will never change, so I continue to give less and less of my best. I worry if our house will be able to put on the market and sell before the baby is here. I become so doubtful that instead of putting the work into it, we sit on the couch and watch TV. Better to not try than to try and fail, right?

Wrong. Dead frickin wrong.

The reality is (and always has been, just needed to big fat reminder) that it's God's Battle. I just have to show up. If I don't show up, I'll miss the miracle.

So guess what world, I'm going to show up, potentially with ill fitting maternity pants, but I'm going to show up. Lord knows I could use a few little miracles in my life. And maybe a few additional donut holes.

"This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.... You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’” 2 Chronicles 20:15b, 17