Dear Colin:

How can it be that you are five years old? I can't believe it was 5 years ago that you were placed into my arms. I still can so vividly remember so many specific details of that journey of labor and delivery and your scary birth. Even more vividly, I can remember the feelings of joy that quickly changed to sheer panic and fear when you weren't breathing and the swarm of medical personal ran into the delivery room back to pure bliss when you were finally placed in my arms. 5 years seems so long ago and such a milestone for you. 

Your dad and I are amazed daily by how intelligent you are. Reading, math and your mad memorization skills are your biggest intellectual strengths. Just before you turned 4, you started reading sight-type words. A year later, you read everything. Books, bulletin boards, standard manuals, credits on a movie. If it has words, you stop to read it. Not only are we amazed by how fluently you can read, we are actually more surprised by the actual words you read with ease. Words like technology, obedience, audience. Words like sacrifice, unnatural, disinfecting. Given the opportunity you would read most of the day. Math is another "subject" that you are getting really excited about. You love doing addition and subtraction. You love numbers, dates, knowing how far away something is. We often call you "Rainman" because you definitely have my memory. You remember everything. It's freakish how quickly and the great lengths of time you remember things.

You have taken your role of "Big Brother" very seriously and with great pride. You love showing him new things, teaching him animal sounds or new words. You are quick to tell him "no" or let me know when he's getting into trouble. You love to hug, kiss, and hold each others' hands. You love introducing your little brother and proudly share both your names and Elias' latest milestone. You clap and make a big deal when he does something special. You are his biggest cheerleader and he is yours. I hope you both always stand in each other's corner rooting each other on. Colin, I've been so impressed by how you've handled someone "stealing the spotlight." Over the past few months, Elias has commanded more of our attention and charmed it from others. You have your moments of not always wanting to share your toy immediately or getting frustrated by Elias ramming his head into yours - yet again, but for being only 4, you handled it better than most. 

                                     

It's been so amazing to watch your faith grow this year. Daddy and I jokingly refer to you as Pastor Colin. You love reading your Bibles and ask the most profound questions. The biggest joy has been watching your prayer life explode. When I think back over the year, I have seen a huge change in how you pray. We used to say "thank you prayers" and like most children, you'd say the first thing that either popped into your head or the first thing you saw. As the year progressed, we have changed to "special prayers" where we take turns saying whatever is on our heart or mind. And while there are still times where you'd pray like a 4 year old, there are times you pray way beyond your years showing your heart for others. I pray you love for God and your heart for others never diminish. 

Colin Isaac, you are such a special boy. A boy who often puts others feelings and needs above his own. You love so deeply, so openly. You are affectionate, complimentary and loving. It is my prayer that you continue to explore this wonderful world; that your mind continues to absorb and question all that enters your mind; that you never lose your joy, laughter or the ability to love others. I am so proud to be your Mom and look forward to seeing what this year has in store for you. 

Love Always,
Mommy

Elias:

My poor 2nd child. I've totally slacked on writing you letters. Mommy is sorry. It isn't that I don't want to write them or that you aren't doing anything letter worthy but rather life just seems so much busier than it did with just Colin. But I thought this month even if I can't write a long witty letter, I at least want to document what you are up to. Occasionally I look back on what Colin was doing at your age and should we decided to have another baby I'd love to be able to reference what you were doing as well.  Annnnnnnd ... 2nd babies deserve a little specialness too, right? :) 

 

You, m'dear are why life is so much busier. I firmly believe it has very little to do with the fact that I now have 2 kids instead of 1 and mostly to do with your personality and abilities. You are ALWAYS on the go. You've been walking since you were 9 months (ok 9 months and 2 days) and I think that puts you so far ahead of the norm. You've been walking and climbing for what feels like forever thus making you more adventurous. Or maybe it's your personality :) Regardless, Elias, you are a wild one. You are quick. You are fearless. You are sneaky and loud and a climber. You literally climb on everything. We've removed every climbable thing in the house that isn't necessary but that doesn't stop you. Most of the day you can be found standing or jumping on the couch and smiling as I repeatedly say "Elias sit on your bottom." If you aren't on the couch, you can be found on the stairs, up the stairs in the bathroom with your hand in the toilet, planking on your activity table, stacking toys up to get you higher. There's nothing you won't try to climb. The other day you climbed on the kitchen chair and stood on the kitchen table! Your tenacity outweighs your short little legs. And if I'm being really honest here, I strongly dislike this stage we've seem to be in for the past 4-5 months but I do pray you never lose your strong sense of determination. 

Aside from the differences in you and Colin's mobility at this age, the other big difference is you hardly speak words. I've heard that it's typical; kids who walk earlier speak later and vice versa - it's just how the brain works as it focuses harder on one aspect. Unlike Colin who at Month 14 was saying more than a dozen words, you have just a small handful: Dada, All Done, and Duck are your clearest. You have a distinct sound for Colin. You can say Mama but rarely ever do. And I think that's it. You sign for "Please" and shake your head "No" very emphatically. You know the animal sounds for: Pig, Puppy Dog, Cat, Elephant, Monkey, and always say "duck duck" for Duck. And while you don't say much, your understanding of what is said to you astonishes me. Maybe it's normal for your age but you just seem so little to follow directions. You are good about getting your shoes (and everyone elses) and putting them by the door when you are done. Or putting your cup on the table when I ask you to pick it up off the floor. We are still working on following directions on not throwing food, jumping/running on the couch and hitting Colin :) 

Elias as trying as you can be at times (have we mentioned you still don't consistently sleep through the night! but we do really appreciate that you are                      doing it several times a week) you are the sweetest thing ever. You bring so much joy and laughter to our lives. Your go-big-or-go-home personality fills the house. As much as you love to beat-up Colin, you are quick to lovingly rub his head, nuzzle your face against his or shower him with your sweet but often sloppy kisses. As crazy and loud and wild as you can be you are equally sweet and gentle and oh so adorable. There's nothing I love more than being your {and Colin's} Mommy. I love you more than words can say. 

Love Always,

Mommy

Dear Elias:


Happy 10 Month Birthday. Wait, What? 10 Months? Seriously, dear child, how are you 10 Months old already? 

We had a pretty eventful month with two big event sticking out in my mind. You officially are a full time walker. That's right - pretty much exclusively walking at 9 Months. I can't say I'm surprised - you were sitting unassisted at 4 months, crawling before 6 months, so why not start walking early too? Life has definitely become much more eventful. You get into everything. You open any drawer you can get your hands on. Love to play with the trash can. You've mastered climbing the stairs in 2.2 seconds flat. You enjoy pulling all the books off the bookcase and dumping all the toys out of the buckets. You are {baby} adventurous, curious, loud, and show no sign of fear. 

The second big thing that happened was after months of chronic ear infections, we decided it was best for you to get tubes. Poor baby, you've been miserable. There is very little overnight sleeping happening in this house. We can't seem to remove the fluid in your ears which in turn keeps getting infected. We were nervous it was going to start affecting your hearing and that you would start growing immune to the antibiotics. When we went to ENT specialist on May 1st, the nurse was shocked by not only how many ear infections you've had but how many in such a short time frame. They scheduled the surgery for May 3rd! Although it's a very short and simple procedure, Mommy and Daddy were worried sick. You weren't allowed to eat after midnight which was terrible since you get up a million times a night and usually only fall back to sleep by eating, so we were up at 4am for the day. You, like always, were such a trooper. You were in great spirits and laughing so hard all the nurses on the floor were stopping by to watch you. Handing you over to the nurse was so hard. Watching your lip quiver and you reach for me as they carried you away set me over the edge. Once you couldn't see me, I cried and then prayed again. 15 minutes long minutes later, Dr. H came in to say he was done, there was alot of fluid in your left ear, and that you did well. A few minutes later, you came back completely beside yourself screaming and crying out "Mommmmmmma." It broke my heart but after about 20 minutes, you calmed down and you were fine. By lunch time, you were dying to walk around and play. You still aren't sleeping through the night like you were pre-ear infections but we are praying that at least your ear infections will subside. 

Graham Cakes, you love playing with Colin and wrestling with Daddy. You are 100% Boy. You love all things boy. You love playing with Colin's matchbox cars. You love throwing things and have quite the arm for a baby. You love playing peak-a-boo, doing Itsy Bitsy Spider, and belly laugh when I play pat-a-cake with your feet instead of your hands. You now have 7 teeth (and dare I say I think I see tooth #8). You love eating table foods and love all things carbs :) You looooooooooove going to school and all your teachers rave about how happy and smiley you are and how much they love having you there. They say you love playing with Cameron, Bryson, Harper, and Mya the most but that you a pipey thief!!! :) Elias, they notice like everyone else that you are just filled with life and joy. 

Elias, words can't adequately describe how much joy you bring into our lives. Your smile lights up the room. Your laugh makes an entire floor of nurses come to see you. Your short little walking legs surprise people that you are already walking. I hope you never stop amazing people. You, my sweet baby, are capable of everything and anything you want. I hope you never settle for anything less than what you want or feel God calling you to do. You, Elias Graham, will do great things ... but first you have to start sleeping through the night again :) 

Love Always, 

Mommy

Baby Elias:

Today you are 6 Months Old - officially a half a year old. How the heck can it be? How is it that I'm in disbelief you are already a half a year old but yet feel like you've always just been here. I remember the night before I was going to be induced. We had to leave for the hospital around 2:30am, so Colin went to Grandpa and Grandma's a night early. Daddy took me out for dinner (where I spilled on my shirt and was embarrassed the rest of dinner) and afterwards asked if I wanted to go anywhere else. I said no since it was already pretty late. I remember being so excited that 24 hours from now you'd be here (you had other plans since you came more than 30 hours later), being scared (induction is scary!), and if I'm really truthful a little sad. I was sad to know our happy family of 3 was about to change. I look back now wondering how foolish I was for thinking that. I can't imagine a life with just 3. (And someday hopefully, not anytime too soon, I'll be saying "I can't imagine a life with just 4")Life just feels right with my baby Elias in it. Yes, it's busier. Yes, I felt more rested and less chaotic. Yes, there are times I feel I'm spreading myself too thin but you bring me so much joy. I can't imagine life without your chubby face, wide grin, and twinkling eyes. It's been a crazy month. We've been busy with the holidays. You did great, like usual. People are always so surprised when they learn you are just naturally that easy-going and calm. Even more surprised (or jealous!) when I say that Colin was basically the same way. You got sick more than once. First with pink eye (that you gifted to Daddy) and then with Broncolitis and an ear infection. I feel like half the month was spent giving at least one person some sort of medicine. You also got not only your first but your second tooth! Your drooling was out of control - I mean Out.Of.Con.trol! Now that your teeth have popped through, we are back to a manageable amount of baby drool. You are starting to scootch and move. You will get up, rock back and forth and then scootch - backwards :) How is it my baby has teeth, eats food and is now starting to move by himself?
Elias, despite the fact that you are growing up entirely way too fast, you are still my sweet little baby. My sweet baby whose face lights up when I get home from work. My sweet baby who loves to open his mouth and kiss my face. My sweet baby who brings me, Daddy and Colin so much joy and laughter. I hope you know how much we all love you!

All my love,
Mommy

Elias Graham:

Today you turn 4 months old. How has it been another month already? I promise, Elias, that you were more excited about it but this picture was taken right after you had your 3 shots. Moving on from the unpleasant mention of shots and onto things you have enjoyed this past month. Your hands - oh how you love your hand! Your feet. Your Bumbo seat. Your exersaucer. You love sitting up and surprisingly can sit unassisted at times. You've really taken to Pat-a-cake. Like we do it a 100 times a day. Your favorite part is when "we put it in the oven for Elias and Me." You squeal and laugh when I put your arms on your chest and then point to me or Colin. You also love when Colin and I (well mostly just Mommy but it's unusual for Colin not to jump in or overtake the song) sing "If You're Happy and You Know It." You giggle when I stomp your feet, look a little scared when Colin shouts "Hooray" or "Amen!" but haven't got the mesmerized look that you give Ms. Kate when they sing it to you in Spanish.
I feel like I've spent a lot of this month thinking about your future, who you will be, what you will become. I've wondered if you will continue to be a happy go lucky kid. Will you always be the boy with the big smile on his face? I keep picturing you and Colin a few years down the road playing as the best of friends. I see you guys playing in the sandbox, crashing cars, running after each other in the yard. It warms my heart already just thinking of the bond you two already have. I wonder if you will be a quick eager learner like your brother or will you favor something else. Will you continue to love music and people and interacting with others?
Today we had our first snow of the season. It came quickly, boldly, yet beautifully gracefully. Colin was so excited to see the snow and of course, wanted to go outside and play in it. I told him that we'd have to go quickly because it wasn't going to last long. By the time we threw on our shoes and got outside, the big snowflakes had already stopped falling. We didn’t even have time to enjoy it or soak it in. It was just gone. And it struck me. 4 months ago, you came quickly, boldly yet gracefully beautifully into this world. But are we really soaking you in? Are we really savoring our time with you? Because, sweet boy, just like the beautiful falling snow that disappeared as quickly as it came, so are precious moments with you. You are changing so quickly and I desperately want to enjoy you before each stage disappears.
Baby Elias, I want to remember how your eyes light up and your sweet smile spreads across your face when I walk in the room or you hear my voice. I want to cherish the times you cuddle up in my arms lying your head against my shoulder or chest. I want to delight in the moments where you and Colin are playing and laughing together. I want to enjoy you being my sweet sweet baby boy. I hope you know how much joy you bring me daily :)

Love always,
Mommy

Elias:

Happy quarter of a year, my love. How can it be that you've been here with us for 3 months. On one hand, it feels like it was just yesterday that I was enormously pregnant; feeling you move and groove, kick and jab in my stomach. But on the other hand being pregnant felt like a lifetime ago and it's hard to remember life without you in it. Hard to remember being a family of 3 when being a family of 4 feels so right.

I started working this month. To say I was dreading going back to work would be a vast understatement. I'm surprised how much easier it was on my heart to go back. What surprised me more was how hard it was on my heart to bring you to daycare. I don't think I even had put my shoes back on before I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I quickly brushed it away so none of your teachers saw me crying, put on my brave face as I talked to Ms. Katelyn and Ms. Amanda at the director's desk and lost it again as I walked out the front doors. Elias, as hard as that first day was, each day has been a million times better. It helps when there aren't like 10 screaming crying babies :) You seem to like it there as much as I can determine from a 2 month old. You could take better naps but I feel that way at home lately too. But each day you come home the same happy, smiley, lovable little boy, so I take that as a sign you are thriving there. You do art projects, work on baby signs as well as both fine and gross motor skills. I know you are learning more than what I'd be teaching you. I try to focus on that instead of the fact that you aren't receiving 1 on 1 (or I guess 1 on 2) attention. It's all about trying to focus on the positives.

{Elias before school}

The hardest part of working is I feel I never see you. You get up between 8 and 8:30am most mornings. I get myself ready while you play on your mat and Colin watches TV, and then rush to get both of you dressed, bags packed and head out the door. I get out of work at 7pm and hurry home, read your AppleGrams, ask Colin how his day was while giving you a few cuddles, and we all head upstairs to change into jammies. When we come back downstairs, Colin finds his 3 books he wants to read which we read while I feed you your night time bottle. You usually fall asleep while eating and are in bed between 8 and 8:30pm which only leaves me like 30 minutes of quality time with you the entire day :( Continuing with focusing on the positive, you are sleeping through the night more often than not. We typically will get up once or twice and put your pipey back in your mouth around 5am but more often than not, you happily go right back to sleep. While I miss the quiet dark cuddle time, I do really enjoy the sleep :)

{Elias sleeping while Apple Picking}

You love being around people and hate to be alone. My social little boy. Mr. I-Want-To-Be-Included. When I need to get something done, I put you on your playmat or in your swing (which you don't love anymore but will tolerate) and Colin knows he needs to play or sit by you or you will fuss. The second you see someone, you smile and charm. Your entire face lights up when you see someone, especially your brother. I can tell you already look up to him. You follow his movement. You look around the room when you hear his {loud} voice. You smile and laugh when he makes funny noises. I love how much you love each other.

Baby Elias, it has been fun watching your personality continue to develop this month. You continue to be my joyful little boy. Your smile is infectious. Your laughter is contagious. You are the perfect amount of chubbiness and a fantastic snuggling partner. For 9 months, I wondered and pondered about you; who you'd be and what you'd like. My sweet baby, you have far surpassed any idea I could have had for you. I thank God everyday for you and for allowing me to be your Mommy.

Love Always,

Mommy

Elias:

Happy 2 month birthday. To celebrate, we took away our vacation.
Say what? Took away? Yup. We had intended on going to Chicago for the weekend but then Daddy had to work 3rd shift on Thursday, so we didn't want to leave on Friday. Then Mommy started freaking out about you riding the dirty germ infested train and Daddy was worried about your big brother, Colin, having to walk the entire time in Chicago since you pull rank and would get the stroller. Add in that Mommy starts work on Monday, which is a whole another paragraph in its self, and we didn't want to set Grandma up to fail with two cranky boys, so we cancelled the trip. We are bummed and was really looking forward to having some family time but we really felt this was the smartest decision for you. You'll realize as you get older that you have to put others first. I mean you don't have to but if not people will think you are a selfish jerk and it won't make Mommy very happy.

So yes, Mommy goes back to work next week. To say I'm dreading it would be putting it mildly. While I'd be lying to say that I haven't thoroughly enjoyed not having to go to work, it's so much more than just not having to go there. As I said before, I'm going to miss our time together. Now Colin if you read this someday don't take this personally because you know I love you (forever and forever and forever!) but Elias there is just something about leaving you that breaks my heart. Knowing that we won't be together all day is a tough pill to swallow. Maybe it's because my maternity leave with you is shorter than my time with Colin. Maybe it's because I haven't really left you longer than a few hours to go shopping. Maybe it's because you are a Momma's boy; whatever the reason I don't want to leave you in a few days. But life is what life is. Cue cheesy singing! You take the good. You take the bad. You take them both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. Speaking of singing and music. You love music. You love to dance to it, smile at it, even fall asleep to it. It soothes you just as much as it excites you. Perhaps you'll be a musician. You love to babble. You are already respectful and wait your turn to speak but when you "have the floor" it's hard to get you to stop talking. Perhaps you'll be a motivational speaker or a pastor. You love to smile. You have a most contagious smile and dare I say become thee cutest baby ever when you flash a big gummy smile. Perhaps you'll be a model. You love to observe your surroundings. You follow objects, lights, and sound. You are becoming very attentive. Perhaps you'll be a photographer or a police officer. You love the outdoors and enjoy stroller rides in the park. You aren't a big fan of the wind but love taking in the sights and sounds of the outdoors. Perhaps you'll be world traveler. Perhaps you will be something different all together. But for now, you are my sweet little 2 month old baby. My little sweet pea. Colin's "little punky" which he claims is Elias in Spanish. Daddy's little buddy. You are my Elias Graham. My sweet sweet chubby faced boy, whom I adore more than anything in this world.

Love Always,

Mommy

Dear Elias:

Happy 1 month birthday sweet boy! I can't believe how little and yet how much has changed in just one month's time.
One month ago, I was lying in a hospital bed in the worst pain I've even been in seriously thinking you were NEVER going to arrive. After laboring for 19 hours in pain, tears, frustration and fear, you surprised us by quickly (relativity speaking, of course) entering the world. You were placed on my chest all gooey and warm. I remember hearing Daddy proudly proclaim "It's a Boy!!!" and the Doctor say "He's smaller than we all thought" but I was so wrapped up in loving you that I heard very little else. There is nothing more wonderful than having a fresh from heaven baby placed in your arms. There are no words for that experience. It's just such an overwhelming feeling of love and tenderness for this new perfect baby. It makes every ache and pain, every minute of morning sickness, every stretch mark and extra pound, every extra day of waiting for you, completely and utterly worth it.
We've spent the past month adapting to a family of 4 and feel so blessed at how well it has gone. Daddy had to go right back to work, so it's been just you, me and Colin each day with no help from anyone else. I'm proud of how great we have all done. But you've made it easy with your laid back ways and your love of sleeping. We are learning to differentiate your hunger, dirty diaper, lost my pipey, just want to be held cries. Colin thinks they all mean you need Big Brother until you really start crying and then you need Mommy. I can not wait to see your relationship continue to blossom and pray you both continue to want to "need" each other.
Elias, you are such a joy. With your calm demeanor, sweet personality, and ideal amount of chubbiness, you are a perfect addition to this family. You love to cuddle and snuggle and I secretly delight in knowing how much you love to be in your Momma's arms. You are already blessing me with sleeping for long stretches during the night, sometimes up to 7 hours already! You are eating like a champ and go from calm to really ticked when you are hungry. I think you have your Daddy's quick but short temper. You have mastered being a pooping machine but I'm learning your cues and we aren't going through quite so many diapers anymore :) You are a stretcher! You stretch.all.the.time and I now understand all that movement in my stomach.
Sweet baby, thank you for making motherhood even sweeter. I am proud to be your mom and look forward to seeing what tomorrow brings.

Love always,
Mommy

Dear Colin,

Yesterday you turned 2 1/2 years old. Some people have said they find half birthdays silly or ridiculous but those people never had birthdays in the summer. Since I was one of those people who had to celebrate my school birthdays on my half birthday, I've always found half birthdays exciting. Life should always be about finding joy in the little things and you found heaps of joy when your half cake came out yesterday.
It's been awhile since I've wrote you one of these monthly letters. A lot has changed since your last letter. I don't even know where to begin as I can't remember you being anything less than you are now; an opinionated, happy, funny, hyper little boy. You continue to amaze us by how quickly you learn things. As of late, you love pennies. The other night Daddy gave you a nickel. You told me how it was a silver penny like Tim's car. I explained it was a nickel, you repeated what I said and then put it in your piggy bank. A few days later I went to give you a penny and you asked for a Nickel! "No penny Mommy. Nickel" Or we went to cross the street and I showed you the cross walk signs. Red hand - Stop. White Man - Walk. The next day as I drove you to daycare you saw a crosswalk light and said "Red hand - stop, White Man - walk." You learn and remember just that quickly. It's a wonderful but scary trait. Most of these items you've been doing since you are two but it's the last time I've wrote you. You can count to 13 and can identify all numbers up to 12. You know all your shapes including the toughies like Octagon and Trapezoid. We've been working on Right and Left but how well you grasp it depends on the day. You can say your full name and know you are 2. You love to ask questions and generally just love to learn all about this big wonderful world.
You still love to eat but have become a more picky eater. You still don't like anything with noodles but will eat most things if I make it a roll-up. Your love for vegetables has gone away over the past month or so. I'm hoping it's a trend. You still don't like most things with chocolate in it, although you love M&Ms. Your favorite dessert is ice cream especially mint chocolate chip. You would live on milk, bananas, yogurt, chicken, and craisins if I let you. You love to be my helper in the kitchen. Meal preps have become much messier but you are much more inclined to eat it if you help.
You love being outside. Bike riding, playing at the park, going to the beach and Splash Pad, running in the backyard, bubbles, etc. If it's outdoors, you probably love it. The weather has been hot this summer and we've been trying to enjoy it as much as possible. The summer is flying by all too quickly. All too soon, the weather is going to turn crummy and we will long for the days of being able to be outside.
Since I could make this much longer than necessary, I'll try to be more brief - use more lists. Some of the things you love that I haven't already mentioned: Mickey Mouse, Curious George, your stuffed Elmo, Daddy, running, race cars, Paityn, ice cream, reading books, going to Meijer. Touching on some of these points, you love watching Mickey Mouse and still occasionally talk about when you went to his house (aka Disney World). Goofy is your favorite. You geninuely get upset when Goofy is sad. You are still such a sensitive child. You love sleeping with your Elmo. He has his own special blanket that he needs to sleep and somehow always jumps out of your bed. Strange, huh! Speaking of sleeping, you are still in a crib. We intend to keep it that way until absolutely necessary. You still haven't attempted to climb out, although I've seen you trying to put your leg on the rail when you are done with your nap. You still take one nap in the afternoon. Daycare naps are shorter at about an hour to hour and half but at home its usually two to four hours. Paityn is still number one at school. The two of you adore each other. It warms my heart as much as it breaks it knowing soon you will be leaving her. No Paityn is one of the most difficult parts of changing daycare. Other highly mentioned friends are Jonah, Hudson, Jack, Sammy, Mariah, and Miss Katie. You love yourself some Miss Katie. You've definitely become a Daddy's boy again lately. Mommy is good for a few things but it's mostly Daddy you want. Somedays that is easier to swallow than others.
So Happy 2 1/2 Birthday my sweet sweet boy. I love you more than you can possibly understand. I hope all your unwished wishes come true. Mine have.

Love always,
Mommy

Dear Colin,

Happy 23 Month Birthday little man! I'm sorry I didn't write a post last month - life just got too busy as we were leaving for Puerto Rico in a few days.

We spent 10 days in beautiful warm sunny Puerto Rico. We spent our days swimming at the pool and touring the beautiful country. While there, we had our difficult moments. It was difficult trying to contain you in close, non-baby proof areas. You developed a hatred for pack-n-plays which was wonderful considering that was all we had for you to sleep in. You were battling the end of a double ear infection and terrible cold but looking back now, I just remember the good times. I remember how terrific you were on the looooooooong flights where even with benedryl you still didn't nap. I remember how politely you would ask servers for "milk box please" at restaurants. I remember the excitement you had each morning to go find the blue water and the hours we spent playing "Barroooomp went to the little tree frog one day..." in the pool. I remember you would stand by the elevators politely saying "please" as if it was the magic word to bring the elevator right to you. We had a great time together, the 3 of us. A trip that will forever leave lasting memories.
I think I take for granted the things you say, know and understand. I often times assume they are normal for your age. The reality is, you are pretty darn smart little man! Yeah, I may be a little bias but hey I'm your mom! You know every letter of the alphabet with the occasional exception of E (you call it F), L and V. You got an alphabet puzzle for ages 3+. You match the letter to the corresponding picture and you've already almost mastered it!! Not only can you putting it together but you will grab the letters and say what picture it match; you'll pick up R and say "Ring" before you even put the R in place. You know all the major colors - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, black, white, brown. You can count to 6 (and then jump to 9) and can correctly count to 3 with your fingers. You are already a backseat driver. I can't go anywhere without you shouting out stoplight colors ("Green go!"), reading letters on signs, pointing everything out.
You continue to be joy of our day. You are curious, inquisitive, talkative, goofy, active, loving. You are sweet in nature with a big heart. You love with actions; random hugs, kisses, and cuddles. You are passionate about what and who you like. You are sensitive to other people's feelings. You are everything I could have ever hoped for and more.

Love Always,
Mommy

Dear Colin,
Happy 21st baby!
You had another vocabulary explosion this month. Not only has word "count" increased but how you use your words changed as well. You are now speaking in sentences. "Dad car black. MaMa blue." "Blue Elmo cup. milk." "Timeout. Mommy no remote. no more remote." Verb-less sentences but sentences nonetheless. One of my favorite "new" words is Mommy. I'm slowly moving away from being called Momma and usually called Mommy. I wake up each morning to "Moooommmmmmmmmmmmmy where are you?" And while most mornings I would love to scream "Sleeping! Go back to bed!", it's so stickin endearing that I roll out of bed and say "Caaaaaaaaal-lin where are YOU?" just so I can hear you say "ooooh there I are."
You are beginning to learn your letters. In late September, you started pointing out the letter X in random places; books, signs, stores. Now you know B, C, V, X, Y, Z. You mistake K for X often but sometimes will get it correct. You're hit or miss on L, N and T. Even with all your new letters, X is still your favorite. We went to the library the other day and after your amazement by all the books, you went on an X hunt. You proudly carried around your book showing each person who would look that there was an X right under your chubby tapping finger.
Colin, I think I say this each month but this is such a fun age. You constantly are surprising us with new phrases, silly games, and more Colin-isms. I just want to soak it all up. I want to freeze time and just enjoy every minute. Daddy and I have been terrible about video taping you lately. The everyday seems so mundane and non-video taping worthy but it isn't. I want to remember how you so animatedly use your hands when you talk. I want to remember how sincerely you say "I love you" or that you love me "so much." I want to remember how funny you say book and milk and X with the hardest ck sound. I want to remember how you count to five and incorrectly use your fingers to count the numbers. I want to remember how you ask "Where are you" to everything and excitedly say "there you are" 2 seconds later. I want to remember how you love to hold my hand when you walk even if it's just to the kitchen. I want to remember how you say your name and then clap afterwards because you are so proud you said it yourself. I want to remember all the little things that make you ahhh-lin. These mundane moments are the most important things to me. These mundane moments are the stories I share at work. These mundane moments warm my heart and make me smile when I'm frustrated or stressed. These mundane moments are what I treasure most.
Like when I was driving on US 131 coming up on the choo choo trains. "Momma. Momma. Momma. Momma. MOMMA!" Expecting you to say choo choo, I finally asked "what baby?" Sweetly I hear "I love you." My heart melted in the center lane of the highway.

I love you ... forever ... so much!
Mommy

Dear Colin,

Happy 20 Month Birthday little man.

We survived our first real illness. Earlier this morning, you got sick and stayed sick. Call it Mama's intuition, call it a barf-sensor on high alert but after a week of throwing up, we finally figured out your cues before we were covered in vomit. Put your hands in your mouth, cry, reach for us, and then puke. However, being prepared only makes it _ this much less disgusting. After two visits to the Dr, 7 looooooooong days of on and off again throwing up, and losing 5 pounds, we thankfully found the road of healthiness a few days later. We spent the rest of the month trying to break the bad habits we allowed while you were sick, trying to get you to be with anyone other than "Moooommmmmma", and trying to fatten you back up so your pants would stay on.
While some of these are not new milestone, they are things I don't believe I've mentioned yet. You count to 5 but still won't say 1. You like counting with your fingers but still don't get most correct. You describe things by colors. Blue plate. Green frog. Yellow, green, blue, black, and purple are your best colors. You love saying "Ready, Set, Go" before you run as fast as your legs will take you across the house or "Lets Go Joe" before you climb up the stairs. Anytime we walk into your room in the morning or after your nap, you happily exclaim "MORNING!!" You love praying before meals. Well actually you love praying during the entire meal. You love praying so much that you have been given the nickname Preacher Man Colin. You still love singing and doing motions to the songs.
You've really gotten into playing pretend. You like playing with spoons and bowls creating yummy food for everyone to eat. You love playing with Monkey and Spot. You are great at feeding them and having them go nanight on a pillow with one of your pipeys. You like reading books to them and giving them hugs and kisses. At Grandma and Grandpa's house, you love playing with their animals at their little play table and chairs. Grandma fills the table with bowls, cups, and spoons and you love to feed everyone. I think Grandma had high hopes of playing tea party with that table little man, but since it doesn't look like Grandma is having any girls anytime soon, thank you for playing there with her. Even though I thought it was a little girly at first, I am delighted you like playing there. Forget how stinkin cute you look playing there. Ignore how great it is for your imagination. When you were sick and borderline dehydrated, Grandma had you play "tea party" and you drank! I was never more grateful for tea parties and your furry friends.
We are heading into busy times. Apple picking, tractor rides, Halloween. Our trip to Puerto Rico is around the corner. And all too quickly the holidays will be here. And then you'll be TWO! But lets not rush things. For now you are twenty months and that's old enough for me.

Love Always,
Mommy

Dear Colin,

Happy 19 Month Birthday little man.

I think we finally really hit Toddlerhood this past month. While we had more than our fair share of fun this past month, this was probably our most difficult. It was a long month of teething (2 year molars! that still haven't poked through!). You transitioned down to only 1 nap per day. There were countless temper tantrums. There were tears. There were toys thrown. Worse of all, you hit. Hard. Often. Usually at your father's face. Many times this month, my patience was stretched, my cool was lost, and I'm sure I spoke firmer than I wanted. For all of that, I'm sorry. The reality is you are just a baby. You have such a large vocabulary for your age that I forget sometimes you still don't understand everything and heaven knows I don't understand everything you say or want. You are a baby in pain. A frustrated toddler who wants to be independent but still needs his mommy and two naps.
You developed an obsession with Sesame Street. It started with loving your Sesame Street ABC books. We spend countless hours reading them. From Diddly Diddly D to Jeans and Jacket Day, you grew to not only love the books but the characters. We bought Sesame Street cups which you love to drink out of. You have little Ernie and Bert dolls that you love to play with. On occasion you will even sit and watch Elmo on the teebee so I can have 3 minutes to do something productive.
Aside from Sesame Street, there are a few other things you have really fallen in love with. You adore airplanes just like your Daddy. You love listening for them and flying them high in the sky. When you can't hear the airplanes anymore, you ask for more and get mad that I can't magically make them come back. Big trucks, racecars, boats, and trains are fun to play with but make even cooler sounds! You love to say your prayers and much to my delight have a great love of singing. I'm amazed how you can learn the motions to songs after only a few times and ask to sing it the next morning. A few of your favorite songs are: "This Little Light of Mine", "Deep and Wide", "Itsy Bitsy Spider", "The Wheels on the Bus", "Jesus Loves Me" and "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Ohhh how I love that you love to sing with me. I don't think Daddy as is excited though :)
At work the other day, my boss implied something was my passion. I've never considered it my passion but rather something that needed my attention. It lead me to think of you. You sweet pea are my passion. Yes you require attention and yes you act out for attention but temper tantrums and all, you are my passion. When you wrap both of your arms around my neck, when you tell me "I love you", or when you shout "NO!" about hiding it under a bushel, I am reminded how deep that passion runs and how quickly I forget about the hardships. I love you Mr. Isaac.

Love always,
Mommy

Dear Colin,

Happy 18 months little man. 1 ½ years old may seem young to many but not to their mom. I don’t know where the time has gone.
By time, I mean your life, I mean this month, I mean the days. Time is flying by faster than I want. I wish I could just slow everything down. Bottle up these mild sunny breezy summer days to open at a later time. Cherish the smile on your face as you hear the airplane in the sky. Or your laughter as you run through the green grass; your excitement of something as simple as a sandbox. I want to slow down this stage of your life where you are mostly toddler but still part baby. The toddler stage where daily you surprise us with new words. The toddler stage where you ask questions, have an opinion, use your imagination, and amaze us how quickly you learn new things. But the baby side of you is somedays what I cherish the most. After a long day, there is nothing sweeter than holding you and singing you to sleep.
Colin, you are a delightfully funny boy. In earlier months, you made us laugh solely by your actions. You farted, we laughed. You tried rolling over and would get stuck, we'd laugh. You walked like you were a baby giraffe, we laughed. Now that you are a big boy, all of 18 months, you make us laugh on a whole new level. You engage us. You show your intelligence. You are just plain silly. Now when you fart, you plug your nose and say "PU." Instead of not being able to roll over, you throw your self on the floor repeatedly sliding backwards in a mighty temper tantrum. You are quick on your feet and love playing games with Daddy and me that make us all squeal in laughter. You, my dear, are my greatest joy.
In these 18 quick months, I can already see certain personality traits shine through. You are a people pleaser, just like your mom. You learn what people like and do it, often. You run your chubby hands up and down my arms when I feed you at bedtime. You give me the same round of kisses before you go to bed (mouth, right cheek, left cheek, nose, then head bump.) You love clearing off the table after dinner. With two hands, you carefully carry every item from the table to the baby gate handing it to daddy and then say "Thank you welcome." Although you are a loud talkative curious active little boy, you are also sweet and sensitive. If you hear someone cry, you instantly get concerned and need to assess the situation. You give kisses when you've been naughty in your attempt to say sorry. You are quick to give hugs, kisses, and cuddles.
I think I say each month how smart you are but I cannot seem to wrap my head around how quickly you learn and retain things. Your word count is extremely high and you are now string together 2 to 3 words. You have a huge thirst for knowledge and need to know what everything is...atleast twice. You've begun learning your colors and know blue and yellow well. You adore doing "itsy bitsy" {spider} and playing "ring around" {the rosy}. You cover your mouth when you burp, cough or have the hiccups and say "Pe-Pe" which we figured out is excuse me. You've begun using your name and call yourself CoCo while patting your chest.
We are excited to see you continue to grow, learn, and live life. We are excited to see how much you'll have changed by your next milestone birthday. 6 Months from now, we'll be eating cake, singing Happy Birthday, telling you how much we love you and are proud of you. And while, I am not able to bottle up this beautiful sunshine and open it on your birthday, don't forget this. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. You are all the Sunshine I need.

Love always,
Mommy.