That's what I'm trying to do ... savor THESE moments. While I'm not always doing the best job at it, I'm trying.

After a long evening/night of false labor, had what I am {still} hoping was my last Dr's appt this morning. Mike and I drove to the appointment with me having big hopes and hoping to hear certain things. I left the appointment feeling defeated and discouraged and vainly disappointed by my weight gain. After a what felt like a long, very quiet ride home, Mike kissed me goodbye and headed off to work promising me that everything is fine and there's no need to feel the way I do. Plopped my big pregnant butt on the couch and opened my email only to find a sweet email from my SIL which resulted in tears. Nothing like crying 20 minutes before work! But she reminded me of what I've been trying to tell myself daily: to enjoy these last few days of being pregnant.

I've said that prayer so many times over the past week or so. I truly want to savor THESE moments. As much as I want to meet this new babe, I want to enjoy this time. I want to savor the present moment. These last moments of being a family of 3. These moments where Colin is my main focus (Heaven knows that boy needs it lately lol). Moments where it's just Mike and I watching TV silently on the couch. The precious moments where I can feel him or her rolling around in my stomach. Or feeling Colin and Mike's hands on my stomach trying to feel Shah-Baby kick around. I'll miss my big ole shelf of a belly. Trying to savor the moments of not needing to attend to a newborn baby. Just trying to savor this period of our lives.

So now while we are truly in the wait-and-see period, I'm trying to remind myself that even more.

Just slow down.

Calm down.

And Savor.

Trust that God will bring this baby to us in his perfect timing.

"When I feel like caving in
My heart my soul is wearing thin
I just want to give up
Nothing seems at all to add up
I know you hear me Lord.
When my face is down upon the floor
It's then you whisper in my ear

Be still and know I'm here.
We are not alone.
Be still and know I'm here.
We are not alone.
Be still and know I'm here.
We are not alone.
Be still and know I'm here.
We are not alone."

Weekly update!

How far along?: 38 weeks, 2 days!!!

Weight gain/loss: again not positive of the exact starting number anymore but I think it's around 13 or 14 lbs now. And while the overall weight total isn't all that high, I feel/look enormous!!

Symptoms: just more of the same but with even less energy :)

Gender: will know in hopefully less than 12 days :)

Sleep?: not enough but partially my fault since Mike and I don't go to bed early enough

Best moment this week?: Monday - we had our ultrasound and while we couldn't see much (no room!), it was still an opportunity to see the baby and hear roughly how much the lil one weighs (8lbs 5oz, give or take a pound either way, although with how big Colin was being 12 days early, the Dr thinks it's probably about accurate). Also since my mom was already over watching Colin, she helped do a bunch of cleaning around the house which we are extremely grateful for.

Movement: Slowing down a little but I think it's due to space issues

Food cravings/aversions: Slurpees! Darn Tara for telling me that Speedway has them on sale for .89 this month!

What I miss?: Having energy!! I feel more tired now than I remember feeling in my first trimester.

What I am looking forward to?: The obvious - meeting our baby!!! The not-quite-as-obvious: Only 3 more scheduled work days!!!

Size of Baby: "Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek)." but as mentioned earlier, this one is already hitting the tops of the charts (80%) weighing in roughly 8lb 5oz.

What I’m nervous about: same as last week - the logistics of having a baby with a child already here.

Weekly update!

How far along?: 37 weeks, 2 days! Officially on every one's account FULL TERM!

Weight gain/loss: lost .8 lbs from last week to this week! Still not positive the total amount but I'd guess 12-14 lbs.

Symptoms: now that the baby dropped my heart burn is getting better :) still experiencing swelling of my feet and hands (goodbye wedding rings :( ) and lots of pressure when I walk/stand any length of time.

Gender: Not too much longer until we find out!!

Sleep?: not getting enough but a nap during the day results in even less sleep at night.

Best moment this week?: only having to work 3 days and none of them with my boss :) knocking a bunch of important things off our list.

Movement: I say this every week lately but this baby is extremely active. Mike loves watching my stomach move.

Food cravings/aversions: nothing major in either direction

What I miss?: energy to do things especially play with Colin and my patience which is currently pretty much non-existent.

What I am looking forward to?: our ultrasound (bright and early!!) on Monday! I can't wait for another sneak peek of the babe and to see roughly how big he/she is!

Size of Baby: Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard).

What I’m nervous about: the logistics/timing of going into labor with a child.

I bought Colin a pair of rollarblades the other week. He was incredibly excited when he saw the box and happily exclaimed "ROLLARSKATES!!"

Everyday since he has asked to wear them but I hadn't got around to getting his elbow and knee pads. Finally the weather was just too nice and the poor kid had been waiting for what seems like an eternity for a 3 year old so we caved.

He, of course, loved them even with falling down once.

Our days are numbered as a family of 3. While the excitement for the baby to arrive is extremely high, there is a twinge of sadness and if I'm really truthful a little bit of fear.

It will no longer just be Mike, Kristi and Colin.

Life, for ALL of us, is about to be flip upside down in the best (and at times difficult) of ways.

To the best capacity of a 3 year old, Colin understands Shah Baby is coming. He sees the crib being put back up along with baby clothes, baby toys and pipeys around the house. He hears "careful for my tummy" a million times a day. Prayers include Daddy, Mommy, Colin and Shah Baby.

But we know he doesn't really understand. He doesn't understand that soon he will not receive our undivided attention. He doesn't realize that soon there will be another mouth that needs to be fed, bottom that needs to be wiped, someone that needs to be soothed. Better or worse, Colin has had our full attention (at times - too much), time, and devotion for almost 3.5 years and that is going to quickly come to halt since the Baby will need just as much, if not more at times.

With that in mind, we have been trying to spend a little extra time with Colin lately. Showering him with a little extra attention. Selfishly soaking up some last moments with only 1 {outside} child.

Mike has been fortunate enough to be able to take him places - like a trip to Detroit to spend the day with his Dad and his family, or the zoo or the library. They've been lucky enough to spend a lot of time together just Daddy and Son. Quality precious time together. I'm not as lucky to be able to be that active anymore so my quality time has been spending time savoring the simple things like running my hands through his hair, reading books, singing silly songs, and spending quiet moments together on the couch cuddling. Just soaking in the scent of a sweaty 3 year old while reminding him over and over that I love him ("you love me?" "yes, I love YOU.") and watching his proud smile sweep across his face.

So while change is coming in the form of another human being, another life we have been blessed with, the love we have for Colin, our first born, the one who taught us how to be parents, will never change. It's my prayer (nightly!) that I will be able to show that to him and that he will be able to understand/feel it daily.

Mike and I have been struggling for months with a baby girl name. Our boy name was easy peasy. I don't know if we even really had a discussion about it. It just was. This girl name on the other hand has been talked to death. Names have been added, removed, added back, and removed again. A few have remained the entire time and for the most part we've had a small handful of top contenders that doesn't waiver much. The problems are that we never agree on the same name at the same time and that although we both like the names none of them feel right. And then we try to decide WHY they don't feel right. It's been a thorn in our side.

Yesterday I'm sitting at work and one of the names pop into my head. I text simply the name to Mike. Here's our text conversation:

Kristi: Name.
Mike: done. lil baby name it is
Kristi: :) it was that easy? just a text with a name? :)
Mike: yup

Of course now I'm second guessing that name. Is it better than the other name? I'm not sure but am slightly excited that we potentially have decided on a name - well just a first name. Now onto the middle name...

Lets hope we can decide this part a little sooner :)

Weekly update!

How far along?: 36 weeks, 2 days

Weight gain/loss: not exactly sure. more than 10 but less than 15. my goal was 15 which apparently I'm going to surpass :( This I don't give a crap what I eat probably won't help lol

Symptoms: lots of contractions/Braxton Hicks, pressure and some swelling.

Gender: Unsure and getting ridiculously excited to find out!

Sleep?: pretty crummy but at least I'll be prepared for the lack of sleep I'm about to get with a newborn :)

Best moment this week?: making it to full term!!

Movement: starting to run outta room so although maybe the movement isn't necessarily stronger or more frequent, it sure feels that way.

Food cravings/aversions: nothing major - just wanting to eat in general, I guess.

What I miss?: being able to be stand and walk without contractions

What I am looking forward to?: our ultrasound on the 20th

Size of Baby: Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long.

What I’m nervous about: 1. having to be in this much discomfort for potentially 4 more weeks 2. not being able to determine when it's real labor vs. these BH/contractions.

A mark for every breath you take, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you suck your thumb, wave hello, close your eyes and sleep in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you have the hiccups. One for every dream you dream within me. It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's OK. It is your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dream about who you are and who you will be. It holds you until my arms can, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it.

Weekly update!

How far along?: 35 weeks, 2 days

Weight gain/loss: Not sure anymore since I'm not sure my official weigh-in last week.

Symptoms: still alot of pressure, some swelling - not sure if it's mostly heat related or just the end of pregnancy, and heartburn (so bad last night I had to take my first tums!)

Gender: Unknown but getting really excited to find out!!

Sleep?: about the same as last week, although I'm starting to feel more tired. feeling physically drained after work, cleaning, shopping, etc.

Best moment this week?: feeling like we are knocking some things off our To-Do list including picking out our girl outfit :) Now if we could just pick a name :)

Movement: still active and strong but less somersaults due to limited space

Food cravings/aversions: nothing really

What I miss?: easily putting on socks lol

What I am looking forward to?: having this baby!!! and enjoying our last few days as a family of 3!!

Size of Baby: over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon).

What I’m nervous about: transitioning from a family of 3 to a family of 4. How Colin is going to handle having to share the spotlight.