Cha-Cha-Change

Our days are numbered as a family of 3. While the excitement for the baby to arrive is extremely high, there is a twinge of sadness and if I'm really truthful a little bit of fear.

It will no longer just be Mike, Kristi and Colin.

Life, for ALL of us, is about to be flip upside down in the best (and at times difficult) of ways.

To the best capacity of a 3 year old, Colin understands Shah Baby is coming. He sees the crib being put back up along with baby clothes, baby toys and pipeys around the house. He hears "careful for my tummy" a million times a day. Prayers include Daddy, Mommy, Colin and Shah Baby.

But we know he doesn't really understand. He doesn't understand that soon he will not receive our undivided attention. He doesn't realize that soon there will be another mouth that needs to be fed, bottom that needs to be wiped, someone that needs to be soothed. Better or worse, Colin has had our full attention (at times - too much), time, and devotion for almost 3.5 years and that is going to quickly come to halt since the Baby will need just as much, if not more at times.

With that in mind, we have been trying to spend a little extra time with Colin lately. Showering him with a little extra attention. Selfishly soaking up some last moments with only 1 {outside} child.

Mike has been fortunate enough to be able to take him places - like a trip to Detroit to spend the day with his Dad and his family, or the zoo or the library. They've been lucky enough to spend a lot of time together just Daddy and Son. Quality precious time together. I'm not as lucky to be able to be that active anymore so my quality time has been spending time savoring the simple things like running my hands through his hair, reading books, singing silly songs, and spending quiet moments together on the couch cuddling. Just soaking in the scent of a sweaty 3 year old while reminding him over and over that I love him ("you love me?" "yes, I love YOU.") and watching his proud smile sweep across his face.

So while change is coming in the form of another human being, another life we have been blessed with, the love we have for Colin, our first born, the one who taught us how to be parents, will never change. It's my prayer (nightly!) that I will be able to show that to him and that he will be able to understand/feel it daily.