I remember with great fondness my relationship with my grandparents when I was a small girl. As I sit here and write, I can picture their house and me sitting there with my long sunkissed blonde hair and skinned up knees. I remember "playing" croquet in the backyard, Jason shooting off Grandpa's BB gun, and playing Racko on the patio. I can still remember eating Grandma's rhubarb and strawberry pie or better yet, making homemade donuts. Can I blame my obsession for donuts on my Grandma? :) Other times, my Grandma would take us for a walk to Cone City where every time I would chose a Slushee. We would quickly eat our ice cream treats before walking back over the railroad tracks and the few blocks back to Grandmas.
My grandparents are old. There is no reason to put it sweetly. They are just old. My Grandpa passed away when he was 90 years old and I was in the 5th grade. My Grandma had moved to a condo. That's when a great thing called puberty came into my life. Everything changes. You become too cool to hang out with family. You know so much more than they do anyway, right? We use to joke about how my Grandma was crazy. Tim suddenly became my much older cousin Kyle who lives in Texas. Or the time Jason found the cotton from an aspirin bottle in a batch of cinnamon rolls.
Fast forward to today. My Grandma ROCKS! She is almost 93 years old and is still completely with it. My Grandma has lived am amazing life filled with hardships, love, stepchildren, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, great great grandchildren, and death.
I love when we go visit her. We try to go every couple weeks. Sometimes for 20-30 minutes at a time and sometimes for hours. I love how much her face lights up when I tell her that Mike and I are here to see her. I love how much she adores my husband and when she tells me that I chose the right man for me. I love how much Mike loves my Grandma and loves spending time with her as much as I do. Thinking of them walking down the aisle together for our wedding, still brings me to tears. I love how she tries to act hip by calling me "Giiiirl." It's like a secret name she has just for me. Or how she still wants (and has) her independence and refuses to give into the fact that she's 93! I love when she talks about growing up as a girl up north in a one classroom school. Her stories about her dad being a bad potato planter crack me up. She seems so interested when Mike and I talk about hotels, although I'm sure she doesn't care. She asks about Mike's lil brother and sisters whom she met once at the wedding. "They are such well behaved kids." I love that at almost 93 years old, my Grandma still remembers everything. She heard a name the other day that sounded familiar only to find out it was a man she went to school with and had not seen in 85 years! The vast amount of LIFE she has lived is amazing to me.
However, I'm constantly struck by how she might not be here much longer. Every time I leave, I cry on the way home. Someday I will a phone call and will be devastated. I know it's how life works but I don't have to like it. I know she's lived a great life but selfishly I'm not ready for it. So for now, I will continue to go see her as often as I can. I will hold tight to knowing how much she loves me and her knowing how much Mike and I love her. I will cherish every time she calls me "Giiiirl" like she's still 18 years old. ("Giiiiirl did you hear ..." "Giiiiirl, I don't need that.") I will take all her advice and wisdom to heart. More than anything, I will be grateful for every visit I still have with her and all the memories I was able to make.
2 comments:
This is a true example of enjoying what little time you have left. No one knows that better than those who have lost.
PS I think your grandma *may* be cooler than I am! lol
You are so much like your Uncle Bob. It is a gift to be able to listen to the tales of a old lady, to see her eyes light up at the the stories of her past or the presence of her grandchildred.
You have the best prayer warrior. She asks why God isn't taking her home, she dreams of the days when she is really "home" and can see "dad" and her precious Jesus. For now she knows her job is praying over all those people she loves - well maybe except Neal.
She is worried how to break up with him. She doesn't want to walk down the church aisle and sit where he wants to sit. She does not want to watch Lawrence Welk. But then this 93 old lady also doesn't want to hurt him. "Ya know he is a nice man, dresses nice but sometimes you just want to hang our with the ladies." I tried to refer her to the social worker sitting next to her (Janna) but I think she really wanted me to write a "Dear John" letter to Neal. Just think about it they are both blind! Never did I dream I would be counseling my almost 93 yr old mother on how to break up with a guy.
For now keep her in your prayers. Her days and night are getting hard. The doctor tells her that her heart is getting weak. It's so hard to breathe. The lack of oxygen makes her mind go fuzzy and oh how she hates that. Grandma has lived a good long life but it will still be hard to say good-bye but a joy to know she is finally home.
Meanwhile your mother grows older and prays that I will have a daughter that will listen to my silly tales, will make sure I have ice cream at bedtime, make sure I see the grandchildren and great- grandbabies and make sure someone will cut my toe nails.
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