Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Month Three

Dear Colin,

Happy 3 Month Old Birthday! You are now a quarter of a year old.

In the past month, you have become quite the world traveler. Ok maybe the world is a stretch; however, you did travel through 7 states and the District of Columbia. You did amazingly well being stuck in your little car seat for hours on end, sleeping in strange places, and being our little travelling gnome. Also during our trip, you experienced some other "fun" firsts. The first time you ever pooped directly onto your father's hand, the first time you pooped more than twice (or three or four times for that matter) in one day, the first time you pooped onto the white bed sheets of a hotel bed, and the first time you not only blew out your diaper but had to do it in the car! Luckily for us, your pooping has gone back on schedule. I can picture you now - completely mortified that I put this information for everyone to read "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM." It was a fun vacation though Colin. Our first vacation as a family. It is one of those memories that I will remember 50 years from now.

I'm amazed by how much you've grown over the past month. You no longer look or act like a little baby anymore. You only like to be held like a baby when you are eating or about to fall asleep, otherwise you need to be sitting up so you can look around the room. You gleefully wake up every morning promptly at 7am where we find you at the total opposite end of your crib kicking away at Mr. Birdie on your bumper pad. Each morning I have to remind you that Mr. Birdie has never done anything to you as I know how strong those little chunky legs of yours can be. You are scootching around, need to be buckled into things, and can't really be left unattended anymore. All of these are daily reminders that you aren't my little tiny baby anymore but rather my curious, active, ready-to-move-onto-bigger-and-better-things Colin.

Can we discuss your drooling for a minute? Something has happened over the past few weeks where you all of a sudden produce an insane amount of spit. I'm not sure if you don't know how to swallow it or if it's just too much but it's rare to see you lately without a chin full of sweet baby drool.

You've adjusted well to all the changes in the past 3 weeks with me going to work. From different houses, louder houses, and different "parenting" skills, I'm sure you are wondering what the heck is going on. It has been hard for me to be away from you, difficult figuring out babysitting schedules, and knowing that other people are taking care of you when I should be but it helps knowing that you are surrounded by people who love you and enjoy spending time with you.

The other night, daddy and I were watching the Tigers and you were sitting in your chair facing us and you were cranking your head to watch the game. You were watching the game so intently. It became commerical time and suddenly you became fussy and looked annoyed. Jokingly, we rewound the TV to put the game back on and you instantly were content again. Baby Colin how I wish I could DVR your life. I would love nothing more than to be able to pause it, skip forward, and rewind it back. You are growing up so fast that I wish I could slow it down. I want to soak in every minute of every day, yet we are excited to see what life has in store for you. Will you be a baseball player? Will you love school? Will you love airplanes like your daddy and grandpa? What will your passions be in life? What will you look like? We have so many questions about your life and are excited to find out who you will become. Please just don't grow up too fast!

Love Always,
Mommy
Sunday, April 27, 2008

Special Thing

This is Mike and Colin's special thing. For some reason, Colin will not do it with me but loves it when Daddy does it.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Sweet Smile

Enjoy this short video from early this morning. This smile melts my heart every time ...

Mike is working 2nd shift tonight (the joys of having to be creative with babysitters) and Colin is sleeping, so I thought I'd take a few minutes and do a little updating. Since going back to work, I seem to have very little down time for the computer.

Thank you to everyone for their encouraging words, prayers and for checking up on me last week. It was a difficult week with alot of tears but I kept trying to remind myself that he was having fun at Grandma's house. We are slowly all trying to get use to a new routine and some days are better and easier than others.

Friday night, Mike and I had our second date. We dropped Colin off at my parents where he had fun playing with Grandma, Uncle Tim and "Aunt" Leah and where Grandma had fun giving Colin his bath. Mike and I had fun going to the Whitecaps to watch Curtis Granderson play who just happens to be my fave Tiger. It was the perfect spring day (upper 60s and sunny), we had fantastic seats, and great company meeting up with Chris and Lindsey. I'll post some pictures on my list website sometime soon.

Please keep Mike and I in your thoughts and prayers. We are struggling with a decision and we are in need of clarity. Whatever decision we make will not be ideal but we need to try to find the one that best fits our new family.

I'll try to update more often and promise to respond to everyone's emails soon ...
Monday, April 14, 2008

Today's the day ...

that I've been dreading since before baby Colin was even born. Today is when my maternity leave is officially over and I have to go back to work. I always knew it would be hard to go back to work but I never could have imagine how it would break my heart the way it has. My heart aches. My eyes sting from how many tears I've shed. My stomach is in knots. I just feel drained and empty. I know he will be ok which I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse. I want him to want his momma lol Honestly though, I know he will be ok. I know he is in good hands. I know financially it makes sense for me to go back to work. I know it's good for me to have some adult interaction. I also know I was lucky to have 10 great weeks at home with Colin. I know all of this but it isn't making today any easier on me. I just need to be sad for a little while.