This blog started as a place to for me to write, speak my mind. Over time it's become less about me and my life and more about our family - mainly Colin. There's nothing wrong with that and truthfully Colin is my world. My life revolves around him, his happiness, my role as his mother. But today I write about me. My feelings. It won't be structured or grammatically correct and truthfully it may be all over the place but it's my thoughts and feelings. It'll hopefully be a clearing of the mind, putting some fears to rest, and finding a little peace. It's about me today.
If you are a follower to my Project 365 blog and have read it in the past few weeks then you will already know this. If you don't follow (why don't you?) then this will be new to you.
We are changing daycares for Colin.
And because I've heard it several times already - no it isn't cheaper. No it isn't closer. No we weren't upset at our current daycare. Truthfully, it's more expensive, more out of Mike's way, and we love our current daycare.
A certain daycare had been tugging on our hearts for a little while now. Every so often we'd hear someone rave about said daycare or it would show up on sidebars on websites. Gentle nudges. Frequent gentle nudges.
About a month ago, we went on a tour of new daycare. We instantly loved it. It was hard not to. Everything about it felt right; the curriculum, surroundings, teachers, programs. We wanted to make sure we weren't making a hasty decision so we sat on it. Prayed about it. Talked about it. Made lots of lists (ok that was mostly me :))Prayed a little more. Every time we came back to the same conclusion. New daycare. The pros definitely outweighed the cons.
A few weeks ago, I submitted our initial registration and deposit and walked out with a thick enrollment packet and a smile. I left excited that my son was going to be able to attend there.
Last week with a very heavy heart, I wrote out our two week notice for current daycare. I hand wrote one draft and it said everything that I felt needed to be said. Gratitude, end date, well wishes. Mike delivered it Wednesday to the director. She was disappointed in our decision but not because it is a space to fill but because Colin matters to her - to several there. She said Colin will always have an place there. Those words mean the world to me.
Last night, I laid in bed and cried. For the first time, I questioned our decision. Are we making the right decision for Colin? How is he going to handle not seeing his friends? I know he will make new friends but he's been friends with some of these kids for more than half of his short little life. Current daycare has been a wonderful loving place for our family for over a year and half. It's hard to think I only will walk in there a handful more times. It's hard to think they won't continue to see Colin grow up. They've known him since before he could walk. All of the teachers in the center know Colin by name. They know his personality, his fears, his quirks. He is going into a center where no one knows him. Will he be as equally loved? I feel he will but I don't know. Leaving the wonderfully familiar for the unfamiliar. It's the whole fear of the unknown.
And there's no turning back now. In a few short weeks, Colin will be walking into the unknown; leaving a place of security and friendship behind. In the days to follow, I'm sure there will be some fear, anxiety, and tears (on more than just one person's part) but I just have to continue reminding myself that he's going to a place we truly feel he belongs. A place where he will make new friends, receive fabulous care, and learn things he wasn't learning at his current daycare. I'm sure it's the right decision, it just doesn't make it any easier.
Goodbyes are never easy.
Dear Colin,
Yesterday you turned 2 1/2 years old. Some people have said they find half birthdays silly or ridiculous but those people never had birthdays in the summer. Since I was one of those people who had to celebrate my school birthdays on my half birthday, I've always found half birthdays exciting. Life should always be about finding joy in the little things and you found heaps of joy when your half cake came out yesterday.
It's been awhile since I've wrote you one of these monthly letters. A lot has changed since your last letter. I don't even know where to begin as I can't remember you being anything less than you are now; an opinionated, happy, funny, hyper little boy. You continue to amaze us by how quickly you learn things. As of late, you love pennies. The other night Daddy gave you a nickel. You told me how it was a silver penny like Tim's car. I explained it was a nickel, you repeated what I said and then put it in your piggy bank. A few days later I went to give you a penny and you asked for a Nickel! "No penny Mommy. Nickel" Or we went to cross the street and I showed you the cross walk signs. Red hand - Stop. White Man - Walk. The next day as I drove you to daycare you saw a crosswalk light and said "Red hand - stop, White Man - walk." You learn and remember just that quickly. It's a wonderful but scary trait. Most of these items you've been doing since you are two but it's the last time I've wrote you. You can count to 13 and can identify all numbers up to 12. You know all your shapes including the toughies like Octagon and Trapezoid. We've been working on Right and Left but how well you grasp it depends on the day. You can say your full name and know you are 2. You love to ask questions and generally just love to learn all about this big wonderful world.
You still love to eat but have become a more picky eater. You still don't like anything with noodles but will eat most things if I make it a roll-up. Your love for vegetables has gone away over the past month or so. I'm hoping it's a trend. You still don't like most things with chocolate in it, although you love M&Ms. Your favorite dessert is ice cream especially mint chocolate chip. You would live on milk, bananas, yogurt, chicken, and craisins if I let you. You love to be my helper in the kitchen. Meal preps have become much messier but you are much more inclined to eat it if you help.
You love being outside. Bike riding, playing at the park, going to the beach and Splash Pad, running in the backyard, bubbles, etc. If it's outdoors, you probably love it. The weather has been hot this summer and we've been trying to enjoy it as much as possible. The summer is flying by all too quickly. All too soon, the weather is going to turn crummy and we will long for the days of being able to be outside.
Since I could make this much longer than necessary, I'll try to be more brief - use more lists. Some of the things you love that I haven't already mentioned: Mickey Mouse, Curious George, your stuffed Elmo, Daddy, running, race cars, Paityn, ice cream, reading books, going to Meijer. Touching on some of these points, you love watching Mickey Mouse and still occasionally talk about when you went to his house (aka Disney World). Goofy is your favorite. You geninuely get upset when Goofy is sad. You are still such a sensitive child. You love sleeping with your Elmo. He has his own special blanket that he needs to sleep and somehow always jumps out of your bed. Strange, huh! Speaking of sleeping, you are still in a crib. We intend to keep it that way until absolutely necessary. You still haven't attempted to climb out, although I've seen you trying to put your leg on the rail when you are done with your nap. You still take one nap in the afternoon. Daycare naps are shorter at about an hour to hour and half but at home its usually two to four hours. Paityn is still number one at school. The two of you adore each other. It warms my heart as much as it breaks it knowing soon you will be leaving her. No Paityn is one of the most difficult parts of changing daycare. Other highly mentioned friends are Jonah, Hudson, Jack, Sammy, Mariah, and Miss Katie. You love yourself some Miss Katie. You've definitely become a Daddy's boy again lately. Mommy is good for a few things but it's mostly Daddy you want. Somedays that is easier to swallow than others.
So Happy 2 1/2 Birthday my sweet sweet boy. I love you more than you can possibly understand. I hope all your unwished wishes come true. Mine have.
Love always,
Mommy
Yesterday you turned 2 1/2 years old. Some people have said they find half birthdays silly or ridiculous but those people never had birthdays in the summer. Since I was one of those people who had to celebrate my school birthdays on my half birthday, I've always found half birthdays exciting. Life should always be about finding joy in the little things and you found heaps of joy when your half cake came out yesterday.
It's been awhile since I've wrote you one of these monthly letters. A lot has changed since your last letter. I don't even know where to begin as I can't remember you being anything less than you are now; an opinionated, happy, funny, hyper little boy. You continue to amaze us by how quickly you learn things. As of late, you love pennies. The other night Daddy gave you a nickel. You told me how it was a silver penny like Tim's car. I explained it was a nickel, you repeated what I said and then put it in your piggy bank. A few days later I went to give you a penny and you asked for a Nickel! "No penny Mommy. Nickel" Or we went to cross the street and I showed you the cross walk signs. Red hand - Stop. White Man - Walk. The next day as I drove you to daycare you saw a crosswalk light and said "Red hand - stop, White Man - walk." You learn and remember just that quickly. It's a wonderful but scary trait. Most of these items you've been doing since you are two but it's the last time I've wrote you. You can count to 13 and can identify all numbers up to 12. You know all your shapes including the toughies like Octagon and Trapezoid. We've been working on Right and Left but how well you grasp it depends on the day. You can say your full name and know you are 2. You love to ask questions and generally just love to learn all about this big wonderful world.
You still love to eat but have become a more picky eater. You still don't like anything with noodles but will eat most things if I make it a roll-up. Your love for vegetables has gone away over the past month or so. I'm hoping it's a trend. You still don't like most things with chocolate in it, although you love M&Ms. Your favorite dessert is ice cream especially mint chocolate chip. You would live on milk, bananas, yogurt, chicken, and craisins if I let you. You love to be my helper in the kitchen. Meal preps have become much messier but you are much more inclined to eat it if you help.
You love being outside. Bike riding, playing at the park, going to the beach and Splash Pad, running in the backyard, bubbles, etc. If it's outdoors, you probably love it. The weather has been hot this summer and we've been trying to enjoy it as much as possible. The summer is flying by all too quickly. All too soon, the weather is going to turn crummy and we will long for the days of being able to be outside.
Since I could make this much longer than necessary, I'll try to be more brief - use more lists. Some of the things you love that I haven't already mentioned: Mickey Mouse, Curious George, your stuffed Elmo, Daddy, running, race cars, Paityn, ice cream, reading books, going to Meijer. Touching on some of these points, you love watching Mickey Mouse and still occasionally talk about when you went to his house (aka Disney World). Goofy is your favorite. You geninuely get upset when Goofy is sad. You are still such a sensitive child. You love sleeping with your Elmo. He has his own special blanket that he needs to sleep and somehow always jumps out of your bed. Strange, huh! Speaking of sleeping, you are still in a crib. We intend to keep it that way until absolutely necessary. You still haven't attempted to climb out, although I've seen you trying to put your leg on the rail when you are done with your nap. You still take one nap in the afternoon. Daycare naps are shorter at about an hour to hour and half but at home its usually two to four hours. Paityn is still number one at school. The two of you adore each other. It warms my heart as much as it breaks it knowing soon you will be leaving her. No Paityn is one of the most difficult parts of changing daycare. Other highly mentioned friends are Jonah, Hudson, Jack, Sammy, Mariah, and Miss Katie. You love yourself some Miss Katie. You've definitely become a Daddy's boy again lately. Mommy is good for a few things but it's mostly Daddy you want. Somedays that is easier to swallow than others.
So Happy 2 1/2 Birthday my sweet sweet boy. I love you more than you can possibly understand. I hope all your unwished wishes come true. Mine have.
Love always,
Mommy
I can't take any credit for these pictures. Mike took Colin downtown one day while I was working. Colin loved the big red button, running down the hills with Daddy and the water. I'm not sure which water but he talked about it non-stop.
The pictures just keep comin. I just don't know how to stop ... seriously, I don't :) 
Couple Saturdays ago, we went blueberry pickin'. We picked 37 pounds and can't even guess how many pounds we ate instead of picking. Thanks Dad, Mom, Leah, Merridith and Alexander for a fun morning.
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