Dear Colin,

Today you are officially two months old. 60 days. Do you realize how old that is? You've changed a lot in the past month. Heck, dad and I have changed a lot in the past month. Life changes when you have a baby. (That, by the way, is something you better not find out about until you are much much older!!!) Daddy and I went on our first date a few weeks ago and left you for the first time. Out of habit, we both went to open your door when we left the car, found it odd to not carrying the diaper bag, and there was very little we could talk about that somehow didn't come back to you. Although we missed you, it was nice to spend some quality adult only time. You learn to appreciate the simple things in life when you are a parent. Things like showering, eating a meal while it's still warm, being able to leave the house easily, and sleeping are not taken for granted anymore.

Speaking of sleeping, two nights ago you slept from 10.30pm until I finally made daddy wake you up at 6.45am. I know it sounds silly -- that I would wake you up when every night you hear me wishing you would fall back to sleep but you had me worried. I woke up 3 times last night wondering why YOU hadn't woken me up yet. I walked into your room to ensure you were still breathing and then just stared at your beautiful round face. I am still in awe at your beauty. You are the prettiest baby which you should know by how often I call you 'my pretty pretty baby.' My real treat for you sleeping through the night was the happiest and smiliest baby ever. In the past month, you have started to smile and not just because you are gassy :) You are typically the smiliest in the early morning when I'm most tired. It's your morning smiles, Colin that make me not despise having to get up at 7.30am to change your stinky poopy diaper.

You've discovered your chubby hands. You love staring at them and putting them in your mouth. I have high hopes that you will one day be able to put your entire fist in your mouth just like I can. What a proud moment it will be :) I digress. Back to your hands. You love them so much. You bring them so close to your face that you go completely crossed eyed. Your little fingers will slowly start moving and your eyes will begin to refocus before we start the whole process over again. Its a game we can play for long periods of time.

You are our little chatterbox. You love to talk. You have a few sounds that I wish I could videotape, so I never forget how adorable you sound but you have "learned" to hate the camera. You can be talking to me for 15 minutes but the second I bust out the camera, you stop and start fussing. Don't you realize that people want to see your cuteness? Don't you realize someday you will be annoying the crap out of me and I will want to remember the days when you couldn't backtalk? :) Work with me smalls!

The past few weeks have been hard on me, Colin. I've struggled with if I should even write this paragraph but I feel it's important. I want you to know how much this decision has pained me. In the past few weeks, I've really began to realize that I have to return to work shortly and it's something that I'm completely dreading. The idea of me going back to work has been consuming me lately and I'm afraid I'm going to either give myself an ulcer or a panic attack. The more I think about going back, the more worried I become; the more I become worried about, the more I think about it. It's a vicious unhealthy cycle. I'm just trying to look at the positive and as they talked about in church yesterday to proactively pray and to pray big!! I've been very lucky to have the time I have had with you. Many moms who have to go back to work aren't as blessed to take off almost 11 weeks of work. I'm trying to focus on that; that I still have a few more weeks with you. I also know that God will not give either of us more than we can handle. I trust that to be true ... I will stop writing about this before it makes me cry.
Colin, it is our hope that someday you will fully understand the joy you have brought into our lives. We hope to continue to see the delight in your eyes as you continue to see the world. More than anything, we hope that you will realize how incredibly loved you are and by how many people.

With all my love,
Mommy

I have three prayer requests. I'll try to keep it short here but if you want more information on either story just let me know and I'll email you.

1. Our friend Shaina's sister, Erika. She had a baby about a month before Colin and has had serious medical problems ever since. Shortly after she had Callen, she developed a very severe case of pancreatitus. She was hospitalized for weeks and had her gall bladder removed. She has since been able to move home but her recovery is very slow going. Please pray for her continued recovery and strength. Please also pray for her family as I can only imagine how difficult it is for them to have to not only deal with this but also raising a newborn.

2. Shaina's friend Lindsay. She's a mother of two small children in her upper 20's who found out she has breast cancer again. She is having surgery at U of M on Friday, April 4th. She will be having a double mastectomy, lymph node mapping, sentinal lymph node biopsy, and reconstruction, all in one surgery.

3. Mike's dad. As many of you know, he has been having problems with his hand for the past few months. It has continued to get progressively worse. It appears they have finally found out what is wrong. It's an autoimmune problem but they are unsure on treatment at this time. Please pray that treatment can be found and he can regain the use of his hand.

Thanks in advance for the prayers. As it states in John 5:16 "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

I haven't forgot about you ole friend. There are two things that I want to write about but I'm not sure if I should post either ... atleast not yet. Because of that problem, I'm having a difficult time coming up with anything else to post.

Most people know how much I love making lists. Lists and I are best friends. I enjoy being able to cross things off my list as I accomplish them. I like seeing what I need/want to do on paper. I'm fully aware that everything I just listed means I'm not only anally retentive but also a big ole dork.


So a couple months ago while I was bored at work, I started creating a list of things I want to accomplish in the near future. Some items were things I wanted to finish before the baby was born, some were things to make me a better mom, some were things just to make me a better more fulfilled person. As my list grew, I remembered reading about people making lists of 101 Things in 1001 Days. The premise is quite easy and straight forward. It's 101 Things you want to do in 1001. Here is an explanation from another site.

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past — frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Goal setting tips

1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
2. Stay Focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

Seems easy enough, huh? Well I'm stuck. Pathetic but true. I can only think of like 70 things so far for my list. I really want to come up with 101 Things but I'm having a difficult time. I'm going to give myself one more week and if I can't come up with the rest, I'm going to post it with however many I can come up with or I'm going to add easy things (ie: finally putting up Colin's blinds).

So keep your eyes open for my list. I may end up making a new blog specifically for my lists.

I'm tired - so very very tired all of a sudden. Mike is out with friends watching College Bball. Colin is sleeping. So give me one good reason why I'm not in bed. No seriously, give me one reason why I'm not in bed because I don't know why I'm not aside from sheer stupidity.